Pablo and the Doot Device
Pablo, a Year 14.5 student, fashioned a new instrument, the ‘Doot Device’, from a miscellaneous newspaper found in the Design and Technology Block. Having found the inner pages of the 23rd April issue of The Independent, Pablo, a Grade 8 saxophonist, rolled it into a tube of approximately 70mm diameter, which he then proceeded to blow through, reportedly creating a G note.
Later, unbeknownst to surrounding students, Pablo, during the stillness of a (Core 5 Further Pure Applied Mathematical Mechanics)^-1 class, drew forth his creation forged not thirty minutes previous and held it aloft. Closing his eyes and inhaling as if he were a Viking preparing to sound a war horn, Pablo then pressed his lips to one end of the device and punctured the room with a harsh yet unashamedly loud bellow, a siren loud enough to awake the Hounds of Hell! A deafening ring befell all those who had suffered the inordinate magnitude of decibels emanated by the device.
He laughed and walked off.
The so called ‘Doot Device’, the ‘Doots’ of which have already rendered many an ear-drum vibrationless, is thought to still be in the possession of Pablo. While The Bournemouthian is investing maximum attention, time and resources into discovering the whereabouts of the article, which is believed to have created the loudest noise ever, far surpassing the notorious subaqueous Bloop, no advances have been made in pinpointing its location. One of the more enduring inflictions the orchard thieves entailed upon us, the sound cannot be allowed (or aloud?) to continue to wreak havoc upon the otic organs of Bournemouthians.